I have had people say to me that from the external I’m sexual, but fuck me, I was frozen inside. Especially when it came to intimacy, my sexual expression, my voice, my needs and my awareness of them.

I speak in heterosexual language here, not because I am against any other sexual orientation, simply to honour all our expressions, knowing you can alter this to your unique circumstance if you are in the realm of pleasing women.

For such a long time I felt I was weird, because porn felt dirty and if I had the language for it, I would have said the energy was lacking authenticity. I felt a pang of jealousy when my partners would confess their porn viewings, but had an equal heat expand between my legs when they confessed. Like a wounded lover, hurt but turned on in some strange way. I say strange as the conditioning I had been subject to had me believe that monogamy was the only way, that ownership and pleasure needed to be partners.

It all felt fu@%ed up, this mis mash of thoughts and feelings and I didn’t know which was most alive in me and needed following.

The women in porn seemed to be having experiences that I wasn’t having and honestly, never thought I was capable of.

The lights on, lingerie clad, head back screaming ecstasy I was seeing, seemed so far away.

And it was… because, what I was seeing, did not consider the woman more than anything than as a pumping, dumping ground and she seemed to love it! And the men believing that they were actually bringing a sense of fulfillment to the woman, but were they? Neither man or woman seemed to be connecting and feeling their true sense of potent, subtle power.

Men are taught about sex from the porn industry, then they teach us women about sex.

They get us off, or we fake an orgasm, then they fall asleep feeling they have satisfied us. We are left with perhaps guilty feelings, or at the very least confusion, as the experience was nothing like the porn clips you’ve seen. Guilty about our faking it or disconnect some more to avoid the truth and feelings that are rising within us.

We don’t talk about our sex, other than the vanilla. “…Oh, I have sex once a month with my husband…” And that’s about as far as it goes leaving us with more and more confusion.

You see, what if there was a sensual sex school where your husband, or lover was taught how to revere a woman? Where Sacred Sex was the subject? The lessons centred around yin (feminine) and yang (masculine) sexual energy and how it differs? How it complements the other…

That the clitoris has bulbs that extend into the vulva.

That tending to ALL parts of her is the recipe for his woman’s opening.

Here’s what I’ve learnt on my journey to sacred sex, in my unique way:

That the senses are a gateway to pleasure pathways and satisfying them is a way to open her up to receiving you:

Skin – Touch her with different pressure, go slow, use sensory tools, think feather, do not enter her yoni until she is yearning for your penetration. Run your finger from her lower belly to her bottom lip and back again.

Ears – Ask her desires, her fears, her hopes and let her share them with you without interrupting, just presence and space holding (which is just listening, not to fix, simply to hear her, to receive her) women love to be heard.

Eyes – maintain deep connection with eye gazing, soft loving and playful, or fierce with desire.

Nose – breathe in the pheromones.

Mouth – Taste her, feel her lips with varying pressure and urgency.

Heart/Breasts – are directly connected to her pussy via the Vagus nerve. Worship her breasts and they’ll activate a juicy opening within her yoni.

Satisfy every opening and desire in her body.
She will open for you again and again.

Sex is an opportunity into an altered state, and she needs to feel fully desired by you to enter this state.

Her voice and her pussy are partners and need space to feel free to be silent, loud, asking for something or asking for something to stop without your wounds coming up.

When she asks, it’s not about you, it’s about her.

Let her feel all she is capable of; she will want more of it and more of you.

Take your time, play with her, feed her desire with loving intention.

Yin sexual energy comes from the inside out. Ask permission to enter her, thank her when she says yes. If she isn’t ready and says no, ask her what she desires to receive for it to be a yes!

When she does say yes, thank her, press your entire open hand against her vulva and apply gentle but firm pressure. Stay for a moment and take a breath or two with her. Create space for energy to build and flow.

This is Sacred sex – it is approaching your partner’s body as a temple.

In 2020 I started my journey of returning to my body and realising that the blame I was placing on my lover was nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. That my voice needed to be invited into our love making.

I became an erotic maven with Temple of She and my life has changed forever, by learning the language of my body, it’s needs and desires and how to voice them.

This is a practice of becoming, which means unlearning.

Of course, you can have hot quick sex but include some extra attention to really get her opening in ways you’ve dreamed of.

Watch your relationship unfold.

Want to learn more about pleasing your woman? Jump on a discovery call or reach out about my 1.5 hour ‘pleasing beyond expectations’ Zoom sessions – $250

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How Fear helped Me Find My Voice

Fear was ever present in me as I nudged against the reality of how I wanted to be known in this world.

Fear kept me small, Fear I resisted, I resisted with all that I had.

This very fear turned my hair grey, and used up so much of my precious, precious energy.

I started to believe that there may be another way to be with this fear, this resistance.. I began to search for ways I could think of fear differently, I started to feel this resistance growing and growing, taking up more and more of my life, it was creeping into the corners of my life and visiting me during the wee hours of the morning.

My 40^th birthday bought with it, wonder and a desire to life my life as the fullest expression of who I wanted to be, who I desired to be known for. I wondered, is there a way I could be with life that was different to this resistance, do I want, did I really want this energy of resistance to fear keep my stuck?, to keep me limited?, keep me small?, keep me resisting?, keep me pushing against?.

And I didn’t, my answer was No, But the how kept me there. I didn’t know what that would look like, I didn’t know how that would be Iike, I had no idea, I had never stepped with Fear before, I had never wanted to move through something, I never really wanted to change something on such a deep level that forced me to take responsibility and move through the stuff that kept me there.

And so I started to think of how I could do that and how I could do that was, express in a different way, those that caused my greatest resistance, and it wasn’t the doing of others that was the cause of my discomfort, it was my resistance to them.

I needed to find a language that would help me understand, that would help me move through, push through this resistance, so I did, I got clear on what it was I was resisting most.

Here is the very example that helped me be with, I had a person in my circle who has very different belief systems to mine, I was triggered, who was triggering my resistance, and so I got clear on what that resistance was and at the end of it I was clear that I didn’t feel heard by this person, I didn’t feel listened to by them, When I was around that energy, I felt I needed to not be seen and be silent in order to avoid this resistance and withdrawal from the energy that I was feeling.

So I was with fear and I had to make a choice on how I was going to move through this and the way I chose, the way that worked for me was to find language and I approached this person to let them know, it wasn’t a deep meaningful, lets spend an hour together conversation, it was me, whilst I was in the space with this person and their differences that I found my voice, I found my voice to say “that’s an interesting way to look at that I’ve never thought of looking at it that way” that was it. Simple, I felt I had a voice.

There are times when my voice trembles when I speak this way, but what this allows me to do is feel moments of joy, moments of joy that I hadn’t felt before, and those moments of joy are so worth the trembling voice, are so worth the racing heart because for me, I found that what makes life meaningful is when I can stand for myself, when I know myself, when I am learning about myself and discovering the things that light me up and the things that bring me something other. I really am getting to know myself and taking the steps back home.

What is different now is my intention, my intention now is to develop all aspects of myself so I can find and discover the magic of living and my intention is no longer; having to prove myself to others, this is a huge point of difference for me.

That’s how I found my voice that’s how fear led me to my voice and don’t get me wrong there are times that I resist, that I push against but what is different is my awareness, on this journey that I am choosing to take. I am aware when I start resisting. And let me tell you what I know to be true is that the more we resist something the more it persists, so I encourage you to dear ones to get curious about your resistance, lean into the fear because when we do, well when I have, I have found riches beyond my capacity to think, and that is not financial abundance I’m talking about there, this is uncovering the parts of me that were buried under this fear, the gold that lies within my bones, the gold that lies within my soul, the gold that is my soul.

Taking the sacred journey back home and discover the magic of living, what I am finding to be true is that living a meaningful life doesn’t mean that there is no discomfort, living a meaningful life for me means leaning into the discomfort and discovering something about yourself that leads to the magic of living.

‘Discovering the magic of living’ – I love these words! For me they capture how I desire to be of service to both myself and those who choose to work with me.

I resonate with these words so deeply! Discovering the magic of living is about just that. Discovering who you are, learning who you are and bringing that out into the world. Even if that means that Wow I am listening to my body and hmmm, white bread, my body feels icky when I eat white bread, that is you learning something about yourself and then from that day on, you make a choice on what you put into your body. The same is true for emotions and people that bring up resistance, discovering who you are means you learn that you may not like being around, for example, judgmental people, asking yourself the questions – how can I be around them? What can I do to protect myself? Then do that and feel the difference for yourself.

That my dear ones is how fear led me to my voice and enabled me to discover the magic of living!

X Trace

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External Seeking = Internal Loss

The new millennium gifted me with a child… a beautiful baby boy, it was a time, that society told me it should be a heart opening time, to be honest, those first few months left me feeling inadequate, lost and confused.

Who am I now? How do I protect this precious child to survive in the world + the weight I felt in the moments where I was desperate for freedom.

The chemical connection was strong; but just as strong were the demands I had placed upon myself as a woman and mother. We needed to buy a home, that I should have lost all of my baby weight ,that the women in those magazines I had a few minutes to view every now and then, had; so why was it so difficult for me? There must be something fundamentally wrong with me!

It took me a few months for this cloud of expectation to drop and I was able to feel a real connection with my precious baby boy. Ohhh how it has taken me a long time for the weight of this guilt to release its grip on me.

6 years later we were gifted with a precious daughter and a beautiful surprise 3 years later in another divine daughter.

I had always had a feeling that I was drawn to this work, but my self talk combined with the need I had to be loved + seen as worthy kept me in the guilt, not enough. I was lonely and my feminine spirit was almost extinct. This very reality was centred around abandonment issues, I had of not being good enough.

I had these fears that were causing me to panic, these fears centred around acceptance, worth, love + expression and this is exactly what led me to the concept of being with the discomfort. I had to try something different to the resistance I had spent many of my vital years pursuing.

My example of womanhood was to put everyone else’s needs before my own, that in order for me to be happy it was vital that others were to be happy first.

Boundaries were this strange feeling I got when someone did something I didn’t particularly like or approve of, but I had no idea or vocabulary on what this was. So I figured out the best way to handle these feelings was to minimise my exposure to them or to allow the other person to do what they wanted. This left me confused, alone and feeling shattered.

At the age of 35, I was shaken awake, and it is literally what it felt like! This moment was the beginning of my journey home, the pure spirit I was as a newborn.

I had to ‘be with’ these feelings that had everything to do with not being with them.

I had to learn what value there was in taking a step inward + allowing the truth of me, the space to be witnessed.

I began to have greater visibility of who I was and how I needed to be in the world. It was real, authentic, and expressive. The logic mind does not understand this the ways of the heart and we have to quiet the mind.

My Tips to quiet the mind:

• Be in nature – allow your essence to have a space in our life. Connect with the aspect of you that thrives on being

• Be curious about what is in the mind – being curious, is about leaning gently into those thoughts you are having. What are they about, when did they begin, what was happening at the time.

• Explore through journal, dance, art – expressing ourselves in any way we can , benefits us, it allows our emotions the space to move, it brings joy, it reminds our beautiful, plastic brains that there is another way.

Daring to be with that which is not comfortable, what I know for sure is that the more we push down what is true for us, the more we push down our joy, sadness, guilt, grief our curiosity and keep them small for what we believe to be a more comfortable state for us to be in, we are just dimming our own light. We are keeping ourselves small. Because what I know to be true is that these emotions are here as an expression of who we really are and only when we judge them do the limit us.

As a life journey coach and Kinesiologist, my own experiences of stuffing my emotions down and keeping them small. I learnt that this is where the gold is, the gold lies within the exploration of what it is we are trying to keep small. When we understand what we are trying to keep small, we are gifted with a beautiful opportunity to understand ourselves a little better. And when we understand ourselves better, we bring an awareness in that we simply cant ignore.

Before I woke up, I would say to our extremely anxious son, ‘oh that wont happen, there is no need to worry about that, I promise you that wont be your reality, try not to think about it’. Was the very moment I learned the skill of learning to be with and get curious about this very discomfort. This moment changed my life completely.

For those of you who know me, know that small talk or top level conversation is something Im not very strong with; these things I struggle with. I am all about depth; I am all about nurturing these emotions that keep us small. What I know to be true is that when we allow our feelings space we give ourselves a beautiful opportunity to discover something really important about ourselves.

I believe, a vital exploration for living the life of your dreams.

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Your uniqueness is your strength, it is your point of difference and it is what makes you, YOU. In a world that likes to tell us we aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough or good enough just as we are, I am here to tell you otherwise. You are perfect exactly the way you are and you have everything you will ever need within you. By owning that quirk that makes you unique you stand in your truth and power to live an authentic life being the one and only best version of yourself.

It makes sense right?

We are the only one of us; there will never be another person that acts, looks or is exactly like us. Life is a miracle and you are a miracle by just showing up exactly as you are. No masks, no people pleasing or role-playing. Doesn’t that feel empowering?

It feels SO empowering to me to just show up as myself, I spent so long people pleasing, doing things for others and making sure all the boxes were ticked and I quickly learnt this is the fastest way to overwhelm, exhaustion and depletion not to mention an empty self love cup and minimal happiness.

So my advice is to first get really clear on what makes you unique, what makes you different to your friends, family or colleagues for example and what it is you love learning and doing in your spare time. Think what lights you up, puts a smile on your face, makes you feel alive, what you like googling, reading and researching. If you and I both answered these questions here now together, the answers would be completely different and that’s EXACTLY what we want.

Once you have that established it is just about embracing it, welcoming it into your life (daily) and fully owning it. Don’t worry if it feels foreign at the start, it will do – keep practicing and practicing and before you know it, it will become the new normal to you. Then you won’t know yourself. Living from this place of truth and authenticity not only sets you up for ultimate happiness but also is the basis of living your best life.

I want to share a few little pointers that have helped me along the way, so I am sure they will be able to help and support you too!

+ DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY every single day

I know everyone says it and you might be thinking it sounds too easy to be true but simplicity is key for a lifetime full of happiness and it can be this simple. Ask yourself – does it make me happy? Tune in and listen for the answer. If the answer is a ‘no’ then you are not serving yourself or anyone else by proceeding. On the other hand, if you only do what makes you happy from the core, you are in fact showing up as the best version of yourself.

+ TUNE INTO YOUR INTUTION it holds your super powers

So hard to describe, yet such a powerful human instinct. Our intuition is always there, whether we’re aware of it or not and it can be described as our voice that doesn’t use words. So start tuning inwards, deeply listen and then act accordingly. By doing so we are living in line with what we truly desire and what we came here to do. You will find your uniqueness and intuition talk, overlap and work together perfectly.

These few things will really support your heart and soul on this journey towards owning your uniqueness. I want you to remember that you are perfect exactly the way you are, you are enough and you are not broken, you do not need fixing.

Go and Shine beauty, just like you deserve.

Jenna Maree xo

Professional Bio

Jenna Maree is a heart-driven Holistic Life Coach who guides and supports women through their journey of inner-transformation, empowering you to become the best version of yourself. Jenna believes true health and wellness comes from cultivating a positive mindset, finding what works for you as an individual, nourishing your body with real food and supporting the body’s natural ability to heal.

You can reach Jenna here on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jennamareelifecoach/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenna__maree/

Pintrest: https://www.pinterest.com.au/jenmaree13/

Web: https://www.jennamaree.com.au/about-me/

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